Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Can I color on your dick again?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
