is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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