What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
