i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize