batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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