I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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