im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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