sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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