Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
