so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
