So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
