operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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