I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
