Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize