And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
