In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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