We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
