I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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