'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
