I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
