did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
