P.S. I can't hear my feet
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
