Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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