i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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