It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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