highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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