Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
