I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
