She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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