gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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