I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
