JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
