its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
