Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
