these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
