If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize