is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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