I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
