New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
