Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
