HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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