Soap is not a condiment
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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