been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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