i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
