Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
