Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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