Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
