Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Randomize
