wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
