apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
