those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
