How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
