There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
