I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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