Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
