I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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