worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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