Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize