I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i barfeds in our rink
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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