someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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